Friday, March 6, 2009

"A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of." Jane Austen's quote for today

Well I must say that disagree with this on so many levels, but it has to be said that money does bring with it options.
Today is the first day that my resignation as a university lecturer takes effect. Having filled out the forms, and delivered them into the hands of the university administrative machinery, I know that I am now no longer a "Lecturer (Level B) in Architecture and Urban Design". Letting the position go, along with its academic kudos, is the easy part. I know I have moved far from the place of identifying with my job description, and think of myself as a whole bunch of more interesting things now: MOTHER, WALKER, LOVER, FRIEND, YOGI, ARCHITECT, TUTOR, DESIGNER, to name a few. (These are not in any particular order, just as they occur to me this morning!)

Probably the hardest thing about this is the loss of a difinitive, regular, asssured, secure income. Now i hesitate before buying somethig for myself in a way that I never really did. Yesterday I stood in the local Mountain Design Shop, knowing that I need a pair of gaiters for walking now that the weather is wetter and the leeches are coing out on the trails, and I thought hard about where the money for these was coming from. Its largely my huband's earnings that will finance these gaiters. Hmmmm.... so I should ask him? No...not necessary, he will laugh at me, surely. And chide myself for even THINKING that I should ask!!! will I not buy the best, most durable kind as these are the most expensive? (This would be my usual tactic). No, I can surely get by with a cheaper pair. I ended up being so perplexed by the nature of the decision, and the awareness that this wasnt really MY money, that I didnt buy anything. CRAP! I do need these gaiters....


  1. lol. try can get the best, just pre loved and cheaper and reusing! guilt free

  2. Such a good suggestion from Kel! And please, even though I so understand what you are feeling, think always that having you happy is what he wants the most. If you let these feelings grow it all gets a bit poisoned- I know it by experience. You are there because of his work as well, so give yourself time to find your preferred path and embrace your situation...Love you!

  3. nothing on hooo. ill just have to get the less expensive kind, which are absolutely OK, as it turns out!

  4. ana, your comment is so lovely, it brings tears to my eyes. thank you!